Quiet

For my business school program at Duke, one of the first things that we did was take the Meyers Briggs personality test. As someone very interested in psychology, I was pretty familiar with the test and understood where I stood.  However, as I looked around and my classmates began sharing their results, I realized that my introversion scale was much stronger than most. My first thought was "of course" - business school is typically a program full of extroverts; it's all about the partying, right? As time progressed, my introversion slowly started to creep out and affect me during residencies.  After being with my classmates for 10 days at a time, by the end of residency, I was usually extremely socially exhausted and couldn't wait to go home to decompress. I often opted out of events, and left socials early. Similarly, when I first started my new job at SoftBank, as an introvert, I found it difficult to make water cooler talk, and engage in discussions during lunch time. 

Going through business school as an (extreme) introvert was an interesting discovery for me: I could see where my value add was, but I could also see where my shortcomings fall. On one hand, my introversion caused me to think much deeper and be more thoughtful when putting out an argument. I didn't feel the urge to talk over someone and bulldoze a conversation, and I felt my contributions were more substantive.  On the other hand, even if I have something valuable to add, I was often too timid to speak up. I probably could have contributed more to discussions, which would have benefitted my classmates, but instead, I sat there listening.  

In thinking about this conundrum: was my introversion due solely on my personality? Does it have cultural roots? Is it part of my upbringing? For a while, I went through this whole existential crisis swirl trying to figure it out. I spoke to several mentors about my concerns on how my introversion might hinder my professional and career development. Thankfully,  it came down me overthinking everything - introverts can be successful in business too. 

Long story short, I've had to train myself to overcome, and to put myself out there in uncomfortable social environments.  Generally, my approach to getting to know classmates (and work colleagues) happened on a much slower scale as compared to my more extroverted peers - and that's OK.  While it took more time to make myself known or allow my personality to shine through, to me it felt more organic and natural, which was exactly how I would have wanted it.  

If you're an introvert and can relate to my struggle, it's a process you can learn to overcome (I'm still learning and improving). I found that finding and establishing small "safe" groups was always a good place to start (but don't confine yourself to only your safe group).  Once you have your safe group, it will feel less intimidating when stepping out of that circle.  Slowly, the group will begin to expand, and your network begins to grow.  it takes that initial push to get to that point though, but in the wise words of Amy Cuddy - you're going to fake it until you make it.

For those interested in this subject, please check out Quiet by Susan Cain.  If you aren't a big reader, you can also watch her TED talk to get a synopsis of her book. 

Previous
Previous

Finishing Business School!

Next
Next

What I Learned During My Job Search